Why I Won’t Raise My Kids to Be Good People

We all want a lot of things for our kids. We want our kids to be good people, successful, educated, intelligent and happy. Don’t we? Well, maybe not. At least, I don’t want all of that, and I will never raise my kids to be good people.

A little while ago I had a conversation with a dear friend. We were at a carwash where a bunch of teenage girls were washing cars in much too little clothing. As she paid the girls, she called out the window for them to “Go to college! Be good people!” And all I could think of was how little I valued those things.

Now, I am not opposed to college and I hope each of my children will love learning and will have a positive impact on the world, but I also know that being “good” by the world’s standards is relative.

What does it even mean to “be good people” anyway?

I think back to a film I saw several years ago. It was called Time Changer and it was about a Theology professor traveling to the future where morals were based on culture and not God. The future this professor experienced was our present. It’s not some dystopian scenario, but rather, modern day America.

What does it even mean to “be good people” anyway? Click To Tweet

It was a world, where good was defined differently based on who you are, who is around, and what you want to accomplish. It’s valueless. There were no moral absolutes because there was no God.

That’s the world we live in. We live in a culture where good is defined differently from one day to the next.

Earlier today, I read that it may be prison-worthy in California now to refer to a person by the wrong gender specific pronoun.

So, who decides what the correct gender pronoun is and what if you don’t know which one the person resonates with? And do you care or do you choose to refer to them how God sees them?

Well, if you do, that’s a crime, and we all know criminals aren’t good people.

So I am back to not necessarily wanting my children to be good people.

A recent Barna report notes this trend also. What is good and right is no longer being determined by God’s Word — even among Christians — but rather they are choosing morals themselves. Christians are self determining their morals. So “good” really is all relative, these days. And in case you think this is a rare occurrence look at these statistics from Barna.

That’s why I don’t want my kids to be good.

Instead, I want my children to be kind. I want them to show love. I want them to work diligently. I want them to be generous. I want them to show compassion for those who are weaker or less privileged than they. I want my kids to be wise. I want them to use discretion.

But mostly, I want them to walk faithfully with their God!

I want them to be kind, compassionate, loving, hard-working, generous, wise and discerning — unto the Lord. I want them to stand up for what they believe even when that might make them a bad person by some worldly standard. I want them to know how to live righteous lives even when they are ridiculed. I want them to be strong in their faith, and to discern how to walk in love with others while still living obediently to God.

I want to raise a bunch of little Jesus imitators! What are you training your kids to be? Click To Tweet

The world is changing and what was once called good, is now called evil. What was once called evil is now called good. And I don’t want my kids defining their standard of “good” by the world’s standards.  I can’t want them to be good people!

I must instead train them to be righteous by God’s standards, even if it means making them a social pariah, even when it means losing a job, even when it means going to jail, although I hope it never comes to that.

Yes, I don’t want my kids to be good. And I don’t want them to be bad. I want to raise a bunch of little Jesus imitators! What are you training your kids to be?

  1. Joella says

    Sharon, this is so challenging!! I love it!! And I totally agree, we need to raise Jesus followers, kids who are willing to stand for truth, not good people! Satan wants people to believe they can be good without Jesus but we all know that we can do nothing without Him!

  2. Sharon Butler says


  3. Kaitlin Garrison says

    Oh this is so good! I don’t have kids yet, but I absolutely agree with you on this! “Good” is such a relative term noawadays and it is forever changing. I often hear this phrase in opposition to the gospel. When you ask someone if they believe they will sometimes say, “No, but I believe I’m a good person.” I even find myself believing that lie sometimes that somehow my “goodness” gets me points with God. Im all for throwing being “good” out the window and seeking to be “godly” instead. That quality is fixed on a sure, and unshakeable foundation. Thank you for sharing this!!

    1. Sharon Butler says

      Thanks Kaitlin! I hope my kids not I ever think we are “good” either. More than not teaching it, we do need to remember that as well. No man is good, not one. We need Jesus! I hope I never forget this!

  4. Bola Adesanya says

    Spot on Sharon. I don’t want to raise my kids to conform to the world standards of being good. When they experience God by themselves then they will do the right things.

    1. Sharon Butler says


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